Two Weeks in San Francisco
by Muldoon22
Summary: Barney tries to coax Lily into returning to Marshall. Now, the two have established a bet. Will Barney succeed? A big thanks to Ocelot Summer, whose story "Under the Bridge" greatly influenced this. Please check it out.
1. A Wager

He arrived at the apartment door. The place Lily was said to be living in now. He knew his goal and knew he had to act fast in order for it to succeed. He plants the knock on the door. She opens it after a few minutes, and Barney notices she's changed. Her hair was longer and a much darker red then before. Beautiful, but he immediately shook the thought from his head and enacts his plan.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, Barney, what are you doing here? I can't believe it's really you, come in, have a seat, do you want some tea? I know the apartment seems small, but I don't need much space, let me show you some of my paintings, I think it's some of my best work ever-just stop it. Lily, you have to come home, you and Marshall belong together. The two of you have something that most people search their whole lives for and never find. I know you love him and if you knew what he was going through right now, you wouldn't be here for one more second." He reaches into his suit pocket and produces a plane ticket. "I bought you a ticket home. Marshall is one of the best people I know and it won't be long until someone else realizes that and you'll lose him forever. I can't stand the thought of that happening and I cannot keep stealing chicks from him forever." He turns to leave, but pivots back. "Never, ever anyone I was here, I will deny it tooth and nail, this trip never happened." He grabs the door and shuts it as he leaves. She's left in her thoughts briefly before he returns. "Hey, if you had three hours to kill before your flight, what would you do: Alcatraz or Fisherman's Wharf?" he queried, moving his hands up and down for show.

"Barney, I appreciate the gesture, but I'm just not ready to go back yet. My program got extended."

Barney sighed in a deep, annoyed sigh. "Lily, it's not easy to hop on a plane, fly give hours to a different time zone while sitting between two rotund gentlemen with bad flatulence, and have to watch _What Lies Beneath_."

"That movie does suck." Lily admitted.

"Totally, Zemeckis really-" he realized the subject changed and immediately return to the predecessor. "Lily, Marshall is in utter shambles. He gave to you what most men would never do for women. That trait is very hard to find."

She shifted in her place and handed back the ticket. "Barney, I know that, and I really appreciate what you're doing, but going back for me is not possible right now. I'm sorry."

"Then you leave me no choice." Barney declared, flinging a small bag onto the three-seater couch. "Until you come to your senses, I shall not leave that couch." And he strode over and sat down.

"Alright, Barney. I can wait a day for you to leave."

"Hmm, with that said, let's make this interesting. If I get you to return to New York in two weeks, you have to be my wingman for a month."

Lily considered this. "Fine. But if I don't you have to go back to New York and accept my wishes."

Barney knew with a term like that, his task would now be difficult, but he could do it.

He extended his hand. "May the best man win."

They shook. As Barney sank down into the couch, he leapt up in terror as something inside of it moved around. "What is that?" he yelled.

"No idea." Lily replied, eyes wide in fear. "Perhaps we should leave for a while."

"Agreed." And they slowly slipped out of the apartment and out into the San Francisco summer.


	2. Lost in New Surroundings

**Day 1**

Barney felt a sudden difficulty in his breathing. He was sleeping on the couch and was deep in sleep. He opened his eyes to see Lily sitting on top of him, watching some television.

"Lily, courtesy much?" he wheezed.

Lily looked down at him and slid over. "Sorry, forgot you were still here."

"Gentlemen's agreement, Lil." Barney reminded. "I'm not leaving until I win the bet."

Barney dropped to the floor and began doing pushups. He always mentioned he worked out, but she always thought he was lying, as he never displayed any physical strength.

"So, what are you going to do today? I'm not going to be around."

Barney leapt up and initiated jumping jacks. "Where you going?"

"My art program."

"When's that finished?"

"Around 2."

"P.M.? When does it start?"

"In half an hour."

Barney looked at the clock hanging from the wall. 6:30 in the morning.

"8 hours to paint? Holy shit."

"Well, painting and preparation for the upcoming contest. First prize is 10 grand."

Barney finished his jumping jacks and stood in place. "Well, what am I gonna do?"

"You could hang about here. Or there's a bar two blocks away."

"That won't pre-occupy me for 8 hours."

Lily shrugged. "Should of thought of that."

"Fine. I'll find a way to entertain myself."

"Not in my apartment you won't!"Barney glared at her, half amused and half disappointed in her. "Come on."

"I know, I know. You want some breakfast?" And she strode into the adjacent kitchen.

Barney collapsed back onto the couch and rested.

Barney sat on the couch for several hours after Lily left, flipping through to see what was on for West Coast programming. Some repeats of _Buffy the Vampire Slayer _and _Doogie Howser, M.D. _were on, but that was about it. He turned off the television and decided to explore his new surroundings. Lily's apartment was tucked in an array of various buildings, ranging from eateries to salons. Barney was more used to seeing a Mickey D's on every corner. But he was no stranger to unfamiliar places. He turned left and headed down into the marketplace. He jogged past various booths littered with fruits and baked goods, homemade trinkets and jewellery. He navigated his way through the market and was back in the streets. He ran for an hour before pausing for air and deciding to turn back.

Only one problem. He wasn't sure of where he was. In New York he could get himself from Times Square to JFK no problem. But here, it was all new.

"Where the fuck am I?" he muttered to himself. He decided to start walking and try to find a familiar place.

**2 Hours Later**

Barney's frustration was climaxing. 2 hours flew by and he was more lost than he first was. He scanned his surroundings: pawn shop, IHOP, furniture store, recreational centre, hardware sto- wait, recreational centre. "Maybe Lily's there." he muttered and headed towards the tall, glass building. It was one of the nicer ones in the city. He pulled open the heavy glass door and walked in. The air conditioning felt good. Within the lobby, an itinerary board hung on the wall. Barney scanned the board for anything art-related

**Soames-O'Duff Recreational Facility**

**Suite #1**

**Marco's Home Cooking**

**9-5**

**Suite #2**

**Reed Taggart's Art Fellowship**

**7-2**

**Suite #3**

**Alcoholic's Anonymous**

**Suite #4**

**Movie Night: **_**Judge Dredd**_

**8-12**

"Suite #2." He analyzed the area for the suite and spotted it down the hallway. He strode towards it, feeling a mixture of anxiety, in case Lily wasn't there, and curiosity. He opened the wooden door with the gold #2 on it and walked in. The room was as vast as a high school auditorium and gymnasium combined. Various art pieces hung off the walls and chairs lined the stairs leading towards a Broadway-worthy stage. A legion of eager art students sat upon it. Fortunately, Lily was one of them, causing barney to breathe a sigh of relief.

The teacher must have had ears that could hear for miles, as he heard it and looked towards Barney. "Can I help you?" he questioned, causing his students to glance up towards him.

Lily was visibly confused.

Barney struggled to come up with an answer. "I, uh-was just looking around."

Lily ran up the stairs, at the same time reassuring her teacher. "Don't worry, Reed, I know him." she wrapped her arm around his and pulled him outside.

"Barney, why are you here? And how did you know where I was?"

"I didn't. I went for a jog and got lost. I've been wandering around this damn city for three hours."

"Oh. Well, if you don't mind hanging around for two more hours, we'll be done for the week. There's a cooking class next door, I'll come get you there."

Barney inhaled deeply. "Fine." Lily gave a quick smile and re-entered Suite #2. Barney decided against the cooking class and plopped down on a lounge chair in the lobby. His pocket vibrated. He pulled out his phone: a text from Ted. _Where are you? Lady's night at McLaren's._

Damn, he thought to himself. What was he going to say? Can't exactly say _In San Francisco, hanging with Lily_. Right now Lily was public enemy #1. He decided on a legit excuse. _The Barnacle's tearing it up on a business trip in jolly ol' England. Probably won't be back for a month or so._

He sent the text and took to examining the lobby again. Glass dome allowed you to see into the blue sky and at night into the heavens. Mini palm trees drooped in potted placements throughout the lobby. A grand staircase leading up to more floors of the same-

_BZZZZZ_

Another text. _Shit, England? I'm confused as to whether to feel joy or a sense of loss. Anyway, I'll be in touch._

_Alright. Keep Marshall busy. Stinson out._

He pocketed the phone and began twiddling his thumbs. 20 minutes of such bored him and he eventually passed out from boredom. He slept for the whole 2 hours Lily's class had left, so Barney was woken up by the sound of chatty students heading home. Lily exited, talking with the teacher. "I do hope you siugn up for the competition, Lily. Your paintings are masterful."

"Thanks, Reed."

Barney stood up to let Lily know he was there. She noticed and beckoned him over to her and Reed.

"Barney, this is my teacher, Reed Taggart. Reed, this is my friend from New York, Barney Stinson."

"Barney Stinson? The Barney Stinson who writes that blog?"

"Ha! The Stinsonater's wisdom has reached those on the Western Hemisphere!"

"I strongly disapprove of it."

"Oh, fine then." Barney said, a little put out. "I've heard of you before, too. I applied for your course when I was 16."

Lily was quite surprised. "Barney, you painted?"

"I did. I even sold some. But I decided painting wasn't my path in life."

Reed nodded. "Well, it would probably of been a great experience having you. I must be off."

Reed hobbled off, a slight bouncy limp in his step.

"What's up with him?" Barney asked.

"Never asked him about it. Probably a personal thing." Lily replied. "Ok, Barney, let's go to the apartment.

They exited the rec centre and walked outside. They turned a right and were in front of the apartment in seconds.

"Fuck!" Barney exclaimed.

Lily chuckled slightly and they went into the building.


	3. Cozying Up

"You, a painter?" Lily asked, gazing at Barney on the couch, still surprised at the revelation Barney presented earlier.

"For the tenth time, yes. It was a brief hobby of mine before I decided it wasn't for me."

"You just gave it up? Not a second thought?"

"Occasionally, but in the end I knew it was too late to resume."

"It's never too late."

"Perhaps." he effectively ended the discussion by turning on the television. "Hey, look at that, the Yankees are playing. The NEW YORK Yankees, I believe."

Lily sighed and stood up. "I'm going to take a shower. Afterwards, want me to show you around the city?"

"I guess it beats being cooped up in here." Barney agreed. Lily headed for the bathroom while Barney watched some of the Yankees game.

Lily first brought Barney to the Museum of Modern Art, where Lily showed Barney pieces of art such as Henri Matisse's _Femme au Chapeau_ and Sargent Johnson's _Forever Free_. Unfortunately, a reckless child ran by and knocked one of the pieces over. Barney and Lily were blamed and were detained for two hours by security. Upon release, they headed for the last tour of Alcatraz, but missed it by 10 minutes. After having some dinner out, they returned, defeated, to the apartment.

"2 hours of unlawful detainment! We should sue." Barney complained upon entering.

"It wouldn't do anything but drag the issue along unnecessarily further." Lily replied.

"That's not what they taught us at Harvard Law."

"Harvard Law? Ok, Barney, who the hell are you?"

"An unsolvable enigma." he replied with a smirk. He removed his tie and jacket and hung them up on a makeshift coathook.

"An unsolvable enigma I aim to solve."

"Good luck." Barney sarcastically said. "So, Lily, how is this competition going along for you?"

"I'm still not sure if I want to enter."

"Isn't the deadline tomorrow?"

"Yeah, but still. Some of my classmates are better than me. I wouldn't want to waste my time entering something I know I would lose."

"Are you crazy? I've seen your work, Lil, it's better than half the stuff I did and anyone else in that class. You don't try, you will never know."

This response sparked some confidence in her. "You're right. I don't try, I won't know. I used that logic when I first came out here. I'm applying first thing tomorrow. Thanks, Barney." She gave him a hug and went to get ready for bed.

Barney sank down in the couch and relaxed. It soon hit him.

He was encouraging her. Encouraging her to stay out here.

"Oh shit."

**Day 2**

Barney was already awake when Lily exited her room. It appeared he didn't even go to sleep. As a Lego replica of the Empire State Building was on her coffee table.

"Um, Barney, why is the Empire State Building on my coffee table?"

Barney turned to face her. Dark circles surrounded his bloodshot eyes. Lily was quite shocked at this.

"It's something, ain't it?" he asked. "One of the greatest buildings ever constructed can now sit here in your apartment to remind you of the beauty that New York holds."

"That's nice and all Barney, but have you been up all night?"

"Yes. I finished this around 5 AM."

"Ok, Barney, lie down."

"Why? I'm not ti-" he yawned deeply. "red."

"I beg to differ, now lie down." Lily pushed him down onto the couch. Barney stretched out and lied down on the couch. Lily pulled the blanket over him and headed for the door.

"I'm going to enroll in the competition. I'll be back later."

Barney moaned as to say he understood and Lily left.

Lily went into the Soames-O'Duff Recreational Facility and went to Reed Taggart's office.

"Ah, Lily! Surprised to see you here today, as the course is over for the week."

"I just dropped in to sign up for the competition."

"Fantastic!" he exclaimed, as he drew up entry forms for Lily to sign. "I've been telling the Academy all about you. They really wanted you to sign up."

"Glad I didn't disappoint." Lily replied. She finished signing the forms.

"I need to be going. Got some things to do. I'll see you Monday."

As she left, Reed called out "Oh, Lily, just one more thing. That man you were with the other day.."

"Oh, you mean Barney, what about him?"

"What's he to do you? Your boyfriend, fiancée, husband?"

Lily came close to laughing. "God no! He's just a good friend of mine trying to get me to go back to New York."

"Oh. Well I do apologize for causing any embarrassment. I'll see you Monday."

Lily left, still close to bursting out laughing.

Barney awoke, some hours later. The Empire State Building Lego structure had been relocated to the floor.

"Afternoon."

Barney sat up. "It's afternoon already?"

"Yup, on **Day 3** of our bet and I seem to have an advantage."

"I slept for a whole day? Jesus." He said, standing up and into the bathroom.

"Indeed. With you crowding up my couch, I had to go to the bar to watch TV."

"Bar? Alcohol sounds good right now."

"It's just across the street, if you're interested."

"Indeed I am." he emerged from the bathroom, clad in not a suit, but a KISS T-shirt and denim jeans.

"Wow, Barney, you look, different." Lily remarked.

"Eh. It's too hot for a suit. Besides, that one's my only one, so I want to keep it nice."

"Ok. But I never took you as a KISS fan."

"KISS's _Destroyer _is one of the highlights of my album collection. Now, I do recall a mention of alcohol."

"Yes, like I said, it's just across the street, come on."

And they shuffled out of the apartment.

The bar was called Brewer's Warf and, unlike MacLaren's, it was a little more open.

There was the bar, per usual, as well as rows of booths and separate tables. There was a little stage for nighttime gigs to perform.

Barney and Lily slid into one of the booths. The band performing was some college group that probably would blow their venue.

A waiter came by. Barney ordered a Guinness. Lily a Heineken.

"Heineken, Lily? This city's changing you."

"For the good, in my opinion."

They killed a few hours there, listening to the college froshes butcher some great songs. They talked about life back in New York and current events.

"I still think France had a chance of winning that game." Lily stated when the discussion fell to the Fifa World Cup.

"It's touch and go, in those situations." Barney replied. A bald, young man soon strolled over towards them.

"Oh no." Lily moaned, looking the other way.

"What?" Barney asked.

"That guy bugs me every time I come here."

"Well, hot stuff, how's about that date?" the man said upon reaching the table.

"I thought no meant, uh, no." Lily said sarcastically.

"I'm not one to take no for an answer. Not in my vocabulary. And that outfit you're wearing sure does match my bed sheets."

"She said she's not interested." Barney interjected.

"And who says? You?"

"She says. As do I. No means, in lack of a better term, No, I don't want to go out with your bald ass."

"You wanna start something, bud? Huh?"

Barney stood up. "Perhaps."

"Barney, don't. He's not worth it."

"Ok." Barney agreed.

"Wow. The bitch has to call off the bitch. Just wow."

Barney swirled around and cracked him in the face hard. The bald guy fell and Barney climbed on top of him, pummelling him.

"You gonna leave her alone?" he asked.

"Yes! Please stop!"

Barney got off him and dusted himself off. The bartender came over.

"Alright, Gene, that was your final warning. You are permanently barred from the, uh, bar."

The bald guy, Gene, picked himself up and slowly walked out.

"Thanks, guy." the bartender said to Barney. "That guy's been trouble for months."

"Well, least I can do. Shall we be going, Lil?"

Lily, still a bit shook from what happened, looked up at Barney. "Oh. Yeah."

She slid out of the booth and they exited Brewer's Warf.

"Barney, that was amazing."

"Hey, I'm no saint, but I do know when to prevent crap like that."

"Well, in any circumstance, thanks." She kissed him on the cheek and wrapped her arm around his and continued their walk back across the street.


	4. A Quiet Morning

_So Barney, any chance your business trip will be over soon. It's actually quite tame when you're not around. And I mean as in bad tame. _Ted was texting Barney again.

Barney never realized how clingy Ted could get. He saw it in the past, when Ted felt a girl was about to break up with him. He was like a leech.

_Ted, the NYC can thrive without Barney Stinson for awhile. This meeting involves English businessmen, and everyone in my chain of work know those guys are very hard to please. Could take a year (not really). _He sent the text and resumed his work on his laptop. His appearance since going to San Francisco deteriorated from suave politician to Raoul Duke. Boxers were all that cover his legs and a loud Hawaiian t-shirt draped his shoulders. It had been 3 days since Barney had last been outside. 3 days since he had last shaved. He was working on ways to win the bet. _BZZZZ_

_Well, just hurry it along. It kinda sucks having Marshall as a wingman. He's a real buzz kill with the moping. TTYL. _

Lily emerged from her bedroom to see the sight of Barney.

"Ok, come on, Barney, you're getting cleaned up." she strode towards him, pulling him by the arm into the bathroom. "You have 5 minutes, then we're going to the art class."

"Why do I need to go?"

"Because, I want you to show the class some of your techniques and whatnot. Besides, the last time I didn't bring you, you got lost in the city for three hours."

"Lily, I told you my painting days were behind me."

"And I told you I was going to solve the enigma known as Barney Stinson. And in order to do that, I have to crack him out of his shell." Now get dressed, we're gonna be late."

Barney emerged, this time clad in a Queen t-shirt. "Fine. But this one time only. And in return,"

"I'm not going back to New York."

"Fine, but at least concede San Francisco isn't as great as New York."

"Alright. New York is the best city on the planet. Now let's go."

"Class, today I want you to paint a picture of something captioned within your mind. A person. A place. A thing. Capture that onto your canvas. Show your feelings towards it. Show how it feels and means to you. I would also like to introduce Mr. Barney Stinson today." Reed preached when everyone was situated.

"Hey, Barney." they chanted.

_What is this, AA?_ Barney asked himself.

"There is a spare easel beside Curt." Reed informed him.

Barney walked towards it and sat down.

"'Sup, dude?" Curt asked.

"Nothing. Just here for today."

"That's cool. Sometimes that all someone needs."

Barney nodded in semi-agreement and looked around the room for Lily, who was sitting a few easels away. She gave an encouraging smile and turned to her work.

Barney reached for the paintbrush bestowed on his easel. He took a deep breathe. _Here goes._

He took his first stroke and he was off.

30 minutes flew by. Curtis was outlining a series of hairlines for a sketch of a woman. He couldn't help but gaze towards Barney's painting.

"Shit, dude! It's only been half an hour!"

His exclamation was audible to the whole class. Soon everyone turned heads towards the two, Curtis slightly embarrassed and Barney continuing painting. Reed strode towards them and inhaled a gasp. Lily too walked towards where the commotion was occurring.

She joined in on the shock.

Painted on the canvas was an accurate depiction MacLaren's. From the booths to the door leading to the alley. There were people in the bar, commuting like regular bar folk, from drinking to playing darts to general talking. And sitting in the booth adjacent from the bar, 5 people all sharing a drink. Lily knew who they depicted. Herself, Barney, Ted, Robin and Marshall. They weren't exact reincarnations of them, but it was evident who it was.

"Wow, Barney, it's amazing."

"I'm sorry, what?" a surprised Barney asked, looking around and seeing people crowding around him.

"Mr. Stinson, that's some of the finest work I've ever seen. Have you thought of entering the Arts competition next week?"

"No, thank you." Barney immediately rejected. "Competitions aren't my scene. People judging your work, people judging your use of colours. That isn't the art. The art is the passion. I guess that's why I quit. Excuse me."

Barney exited the room, leaving some to remain confused, others to continue admiring the painting, Lily to piece together what just happened.

Lily returned to her apartment to find Barney sitting on the couch, in silence.

"Barney?" Lily called.

Barney looked up at her. "Oh, hey."

"Barney, what was that about back there?" She hung up her things and went to sit beside him.

"Rehashed anger towards art. It's how I felt when I stopped. It was 1989, and after being persuaded to by my mother, I enrolled in a painting competition in Buffalo. It was my first one, and being 13, I was pretty excited. I decided to paint a picture of the Buffalo skyline. It took me 2 hours to finish it. I turned it into the committee, but it was sent back. Too much use of the color grey, not enough texture. What the hell does texture have to do with art? Why does it matter? Anyway, the criticism damaged my confidence, to the point I had a small bonfire in my backyard and used my art supplies as the fuel. I haven't had the desire to paint since."

Lily processed what Barney just said. Barney finally revealed a little bit about himself, something he hasn't done. Maybe she could use this to get him to open up more.

"Well, Barney, you shouldn't let criticism get in the way of what you love doing. If I listened, I wouldn't be out here, doing what I love doing. What you've also done, Barney, is open up about yourself. I always feel better when I do that. So how's about it?"

Barney looked up at her and smiled. "Put on the kettle, because this is a pretty long story…"

Barney woke the next morning. He hadn't bothered to change into some pyjamas beforehand. He felt something on his leg. It was Lily, curled up in a ball using his leg as a pillow. He smiled. _Guess it was a long story_.

"Lil, wake up." he said, shaking her form. She rose and looked up at him.

"What time is it?" she asked, rubbing her eyes and sitting up.

"It's 10 AM."

"10 AM? Class started 3 hours ago!" she darted up and ran to her room. Barney stood up and headed for the kitchen. He noticed the phone's answering machine blinking _1 missed call_.

He pressed the playback button and started making coffee as Lily came dashing out of her room and out of the apartment.

"_Lily, it's Reed. Class has been cancelled today due to a matter involving next week's competition._ _There won't be another until Thursday. Apologies if you don't receive this._"

"Lily, wait-" Barney turned to see she already left.

He went to sit back down on the couch. "5, 4, 3, 2, 1-" he counted down, just as Lily re-entered the apartment.

"So Reed left a message." he said, trying not to laugh.

"Don't laugh. God, I should of heard the phone. I'm such an idiot."

"You're not an idiot."

"That's surprising since you've condemned my decision to come here."

"But that doesn't mean I don't think any less of you as a friend."

"Wish you could say the same for everyone else."

"What they think shouldn't matter to you. What I think shouldn't either."

He pulled her into a semi-hug. Lily smiled at him in appreciation. Then, without much thought, she kissed him on the lips. It surprised Barney that he didn't care, and the kiss escalated to a full out snog. They were soon on top of each other, engaging in the pleasantries.

It was now the afternoon. Lily awoke in her bed. She saw Barney laying beside her and she remembered what happened. But she didn't care. She wasn't regretting it. Instead, she wrapped her arms around him and closed her eyes.

The San Francisco sun shone in, and slowly faded out, closing out the day.


	5. The Place They Want To Be

"Just a dab right there." Barney said, as he sat at Lily's easel, Lily sitting on his lap, as she stroked the paintbrush onto the canvas.

"And now there you have, a lamp." he said sarcastically. "My legs are quite numb."

"Sorry." Lily stood up and began clearing up her art supplies. It was now two days before the competition and three days before Barney and Lily's bet would close. But in Barney's case, he basically stopped wanting to win. After their passionate night together, they formed a more closer bond then they had before. Barney felt more open about himself rather than the personality he inhibits and Lily felt more secure about herself around him.

But Barney was still determined to get Lily back with Marshall, no matter what his feelings towards her were.

"I feel ready for this. You'll be there, right?"

"Of course. The Jedi must see the Padawan succeed."

"You and your _Star Trek_," she replied

"_Star Wars_, actually." he corrected.

"Whatever. Come on, we leave now, we might actually get to see Alcatraz."

"Unless some kid breaks it." he said, reminiscent of their run-in at the art museum.

Lily smiled and the two exited the apartment.

They went on the full tour of the city. Their first stop being Alcatraz. Barney bought a camera from the gift shop so he could take some shots. He tricked Lily into one of the cells and locked it behind her. He took a picture before letting her out. Lily made several attempts to exact revenge, but continuously failed.

Barney was particularly interested in looking at places where _Dirty Harry_ was filmed. He navigated Lily throughout the city, pointing out and talking about certain scenes.

"Barney, we're losing daylight, is this really something interesting?"

"Come on, Lily." he said, in a Clint Eastwood voice, "Where's your sense of intrigue?"

But eventually, he too got bored and they walked towards Golden Gate Park.

Barney took some more pictures, even having someone take a picture of him and Lily underneath the Golden Gate Bridge.

It was now 10 PM. They only intended to sit down for a few minutes, but they fell asleep and awoke the next day.

Barney turned to Lily. "We just slept like bums in the park."

"Yeah, and check this out." Lily was holding up a loitering ticket she picked up from near her.

"Let me take care of that." he said, taking it from her. "How does someone get a ticket for loitering in a public park. Since the park is open to the public, no one is ever loitering in it."

"Harvard Law taught you well." Lily replied.

They rose and went to the courthouse, where Barney successfully fought their way of paying the $500 ticket. They caught a cable car and returned to the apartment, where Lily began more painting, while Barney watched.

"I've got a good feeling the competition will lean in your favour, Lil."

"Thanks, Barney."

They spent the rest of the night preparing Lily for the competition, and by the time they went to bed, the floor was coating in various sketches and failed attempts.

Lily had permitted Barney to sleep in her bed, but they didn't try anything. They decided that their little ONS would not happen again. Even if they both enjoyed it.

_9 hours to competition_

Lily had run out to the Soames-O'Duff Facility to meet with Reed, so Barney took the time to check his e-mails. Mainly spam and online offers, a note from his boss asking when they'd be expecting him back.

_BZZZZ_

Barney reached for his phone: a text from Ted.

_Barney, good news. Marshall have a new girlfriend!_

Barney just gazed at the text. There was more to the text, but he couldn't get that sentence out of his head: _Marshall has a new girlfriend!_

Barney finally brought himself to scroll down

_Her name's Pamela and she's hot. Here's a pic:_

A picture of Ted, Robin, Marshall and _Pamela_ appeared. She was tall, had a flow of long orange hair and a nice smile.

Marshall was kissing her cheek while Ted and Robin stood around gulping back booze.

_That's great, Ted. Tell Marshall congrats for me_.

He sent the text and leaned back in his chair. He had failed. Completely wasted two weeks. Even if he had convinced Lily to return, Marshall and _Pamela _would still have hooked up.

Barney sat defeated. Well, I tried, he thought to himself.

He stood up and collected his laptop, placing it into his bag, along with his clothes, some souvenirs he bought and the pictures he took. He went into the bathroom and changed into his suit, at the while dialling his phone.

"Hello, Trish?" Trish was his assistant back in New York. "Yeah, I need a first class ticket from San Francisco to New York for today." he slid on his jacket and began adjusting his tie while he waited for Trish to reply back.

"There's one at 4:30? Good, book it. Thanks, Trish." he hung up. Then he remembered: today was Lily's competition, which started at 5. Sorry, Lil. He muttered, walking back out to the living room.

Just as he walked out of the bathroom, Lily returned. She began to say something, but stopped when she saw Barney in his suit for the first time in awhile.

"I see you're back in your "fabric wingman"." She said sarcastically.

Barney breathed in deeply. "I got a call from my boss." he lied. "I have to be back in New York tonight or I'm off to the job center."

"But tonight's the-" Lily began, but Barney cut her off.

"I know, and it's really killing me to leave, but I have no choice." he picked up his bag and headed for the door. "I'm sorry."

Lily strode up to him and latched onto him for a hug, tears formulating in her eyes.

"Goodbye." she said. "You being here, it's meant alot." she pulled away. Barney couldn't help but see the tears in her eyes. He looked away and slid out the door, leaving Lily alone to her sadness.

Barney rolled into the airport and collected his ticket at the front desk. He went through the security checkpoints and made it to his flight's gate.

Lily stood where Barney left her for a while afterwards. But as the time trickled on, she tried to not think about what happened and gathered up her art materials. She grabbed her paintbrush and paints, and headed off.

It was 3:45 and Barney was sitting at the airport bar in San Francisco International Airport. A stewardess walked by and smiled at him, but Barney couldn't return it. He hadn't been able to look at another woman for awhile, and he didn't really want to.

He picked his bag up, finished his drink and went to sit down at the terminal. He was looking through his bag when his hand got stuck in something. One of his shirts got his hand stuck and he pulled hard to get it out. The resulting pullback caused some things to fall out. He gathered them up, including some of the photos. He stopped in his tracks when he picked up the picture of him and Lily under the Golden Gate Bridge. They looked happy and full of spirits in it. It's because they did feel that way. Barney smiled and suddenly, nothing else mattered to him: the bet, his job, New York. What only mattered was Lily. And he was abandoning her when she needed a friend the most.

"_Attention, passengers of Flight 949 from San Francisco to New York, your flight has been delayed indefinitely due to technical issues with the plane's computer system. We will keep you posted until the problem is resolved_,"

Barney was already bounding out of the airport while that message was playing. He ran to find a taxi, and upon not finding one, he took off running. "I'm coming, Lil."

Lily was behind a curtain at the San Francisco Arts Academy, where the competition was being held. Looking out at the audience, the overwhelmingly massive audience, her eyes narrowed on an empty seat. There was a folded reserved card on it. She forgot she had that spot for Barney. She pulled back behind the curtain to try to avoid another bout of sadness, and waited to be called on stage.

Barney was dashing through the San Francisco streets. The distance between the airport and the facility was roughly an hour's walk, shorter if running. He decided to check the apartment first, once he got there.

"Ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to the 14th annual San Francisco Arts competition. The variant areas that we focus on here include the likes of painting and film. Two participants from their respective fields will battle for the prize money totalling $1, 000 dollars. Let us begin the night with the painting portion."

Barney burst into the apartment. "Lily!" he called, to no answer. The running made him really burnt out and hot, so he took off his suit, his t-shirt still being on underneath, dropped the suit to the floor and ran out the door.

"From Reed Taggart's Art Fellowship, Ms. Lily Aldrin."

Lily walked onstage to the applause of the audience and perched herself in front of an easel.

"From the San Jose Committee of Painters, Mr. Oscar Hannon."

A stout, ugly-looking man trudged onto the stage and sat at the easel next to Lily's.

"Painters, your challenge is to paint something new. Something you are feeling inside of you. You have 1 hour and a half to complete it."

Barney ran into the Soames-O'Duff Recreational Facility and ran to Suite #2, finding it empty. Looking around, he strolled over to the woman at the front desk.

"Excuse me, was the arts competition cancelled or something?"

The woman looked up. "No, it's taking place at the Arts Academy."

"Which is where?"

"Downtown."

"Downtown? Damnit." he cursed, darting back out the doors.

"You may begin….now."

Lily picked up her paint brush and began to think about what she was going to paint. After a deliberation, she began to paint.

Barney decided to take a cable car this time, as he wore himself out. It took a half hour for the cable car to get to the Academy. Barney bounced right off of it and ran past the sign "San Francisco Art Academy" with their motto "We stand by our talent."

Barney pushed through the doors and looked around the lobby for a bulletin board. There was one behind the front desk and noted which room he had to go to. Sprinting down the hallway, he came across a door marked "Auditorium". He pushed through the swinging doors.

Lily was in the midst of painting when the sound of the doors bursting open distracted everyone. Looking up, she saw a panting Barney, which made her smile brightly.

"I made it." Barney gasped. "I made-" he tripped on a stair and went toppling down to the level floor. Lily stood up to see if he was ok. He leapt up to his feet. "I'm fine. Everything's fine" he said. He spotted the reserved seat and sat down. Lily felt more encouraged and proceeded to finish her painting.

The time limit was seconds away from climaxing. Finally, the MC of the competition walked back onstage. "Time is up, contestants."

As Lily and Oscar placed their brushes down, Barney noticed Oscar slip something back into his pocket. It looked like a photograph.

"Please turn your easels towards the audience."

Barney was in awe of what he saw on Lily's canvas: a depiction of the Golden Gate Park, with the bridge overhead two people laying on the grass. Sleeping like bums.

On Oscar's canvas was a depiction of a bowl of fruit. Real exciting.

The paintings were taken offstage to be judged. During this time, the contestants were allowed to mingle with the audience. Lily jogged down the steps to where Barney was sitting. "Barney, what are you doing here?" she asked, pulling him out of his seat into a hug.

"I decided not to go back yet."

"Well, I'm grateful."

"Too bad Oscar won't be. I think he cheated."

"Cheated? How?"

"I saw him slip what I think was a photo in his pocket. It might be a picture of a previous painting."

"So do we tell them?"

"Nah, it's a bowl of fruit. Not something that wins accolades."

"Will the contestants please return to the stage."

"Good luck." Barney whispered, sitting back down.

Lily returned to her seat on the stage.

"After much deliberation, we have determined the winner to be…Oscar Hannon."

Lily's face turned to shock. Oscar stood up to shake the main judge's hand.

Barney stood up. "Excuse me, could I interject?"

The main judge fell silent. "Um, sure."

"What is the definition of art to you? Because a bowl of fruit sure as shit not."

"Excuse me, Mr.?

"Stinson. Barney Stinson. A bowl of fruit isn't art, especially when-"

He reached in Oscar's pocket and pulled out the photo. It indeed was a picture of the same painting he just did. "It's a complete piece of plagiarism. When did the gifted get grievance and the plagiarist praise? You claim you stand by your talent when you can't even tell between talent and fakers. Shame on you. What led you to select Mr. Hannon's piece anyhow?"

"Well, it was due to the colour scheme-"

"And colour scheme is what matters? Not the passion that goes into it? When did art become critic fodder? Think about that."

And Barney headed for the door. As he was leaving, the judge made another announcement.

"We would like to make a rephrasal. The new winner of the competition is Lily Aldrin."

Applause broke out as Oscar fled the stage and Lily stepped up to accept her prize.

"Thank you."

She left the stage to talk to Reed. "Congratulations, Lily. It's always a sad sight to see people cheat their way through competition's. There shall be a party back at the classroom."

Barney came down. "Congrats, Lil."

Lily smiled. "I couldn't have done it without you."

"Now I heard something about a party."

The party lasted past midnight. It was a feat to celebrate, as Reed revealed that was the first time anyone he taught won since the first competition. Lily was having a good time, but eventually sought out Barney and the two headed out back to the apartment. As they walked, Barney began speaking.

"Well, Lily, it's 12:30. You won the bet a half hour ago."

"Yeah, I guess I did."

"I'll stay tonight and fly out tomorrow."

"Or you could stay." Lily said, hopefully, turning towards him as they stood outside the apartment."If that's what you want. It wouldn't bother me none."

"It is."

They kissed. Nothing mattered but what was here right now. New York, Marshall, nothing. It was just them. They broke off and ran into the apartment.

It's not known if they ever went back to New York, but it's known they're where they want to be.


	6. Epilogue

The last time Ted Mosby heard from Barney Stinson was August 2006. Now, July 2010, more than 4 years later, Barney was still off the grid.

Ted was walking through Times Square en route to work. The square, per usual was clogged with pedestrians ranging from tourists to long term New Yorker's.

Two particular people caught his eye in the dense crowd. A man and woman, walking hand in hand, talking and smiling as they walked. It was Barney and Lily. Ted almost didn't recognize them. Barney's physical appearance wasn't different, but his attire altered. He wasn't wearing a suit, but rather a simple t-shirt and slacks.

Lily's hair was longer and a deeper red. She too only bore casual wear.

Ted stopped dead in his tracks. What was he looking at? Then he began piecing together the truth: Barney was never in London. He was in San Francisco, with Lily. What was he doing out there, though? Bring Lily back? Or try his own hand at her? Ted's train of thought derailed when he heard a voice not heard in years.

"Ted Mosby. 4 years later and you still fail to have a sense of fashion."

Barney and Lily were standing in front of him. Lily embraced him in a friendly hug. Though he was still very confused, it was good to see them again.

"Barney. Lily. This is such a surprise."

"Same could be said for us." Lily replied.

There was a brief, but awkward silence. Ted finally spoke.

"You were never in London, were you?"

"No. But trust me, it originally wasn't supposed to end up like this."

"So you're dating?"

"Married, actually." Lily said, flashing her ring. "Two years now."

"Married?" Ted said, quite shocked. Mainly because they never called or invited him to the wedding. He loves attending weddings.

"Again, not how we planned things. But I guess some things are meant to happen. You know, fate or destiny. Something like that."

"Yeah, but I mean, you and Marshal-"

"How is he, anyway?" Lily asked.

"He moved to St. Louis. Got an offer from a prestigious environmental firm he couldn't ignore."

"Did he and Pamela ever amount to anything?"

"No. Last I heard, he was dating some girl named Helen. But more importantly, how long have you guys been in New York? You never called."

"We only moved back a few months ago. We were pacing time until reintroducing ourselves. And with calling, it might have been awkward." Lily explained.

"I guess."

"How's Robin?" Barney asked.

"We broke up. She's currently travelling. Last I heard, she was in Rio."

"You know, Ted, a trip to MacLaren's sounds great right now." Barney hinted.

"Yeah, we can tell you everything rather than outside on the street."

"Well, I have to go to work." Ted remembered. "But I guess I can blow off for a little bit."

"Excellent." And the three headed through the crowds to their favourite bar.

"So, what did you do for the honeymoon?"

"Vegas."

"Just Vegas."

"Guess I should have known." The three laughed until their voices were lost in the city crowds.

_**The End**_


	7. Epilogue 2

_I wasn't satisfied with the epilogue I provided. Too many loose threads left uncut. So here is a second epilogue, as I don't want to remove the other, in case anyone liked it._

Ted Mosby hadn't heard anything from Barney Stinson since the day he went on a business trip 4 years ago. In those three years, Marshall was able to settle down and move on from Lily. Ted and Robin were engaged and sitting in JFK Airport to catch a flight to Denver. Where Ted was helping construct a new opera house. The two were seated at the flight's gate, but the flight was just delayed half an hour due to a mechanical difficulty.

"Ugh, this is tedious. I'm going to get a drink, want anything?" Robin asked.

"A can of cola could hit the spot. And some corn chips."

"Ok, I'll be back." she stood up and walked down the hallway towards the market area of the airport.

Ted whipped out his cell phone and began answering some text messages.

_Mr. Ivanans, my flight will be late by a half hour, so we won't be getting in until 6._

_**Flight 545 to Boise, Idaho will be delayed by 5 minutes.**_

_Jim, when I arrive in Denver, sent me another copy of the lobby design, we'll be making changes to the interior._

_**Flight 656 from San Francisco has now landed.**_

_Marshall, don't forget to keep an eye on the apartment. And tell Tina I said hi._

_**Flight 787 to Dallas has begun boarding.**_

Ted put his phone away and began looking around the crowds. He gazed towards the gate where the flight from San Francisco just landed.

Ted began to look away from the terminal when his eye caught the attention of two particular people.

The male was tall, with blonde hair and a semi-formal shirt on. Attached to his side (not literally) was a red-headed female.

_Is that Barney and Lily?_

His theory was proven accurate when the two looked around the airport. God they changed. But why were they together? Wasn't Barney in Europe?

The two began talking to one another. Ted wished he knew what they were saying. Then they kissed one another.

_No._

Barney was never in Europe, he was in San Francisco. With Lily. And now they were together.

Robin returned and gave Ted his items. She saw him looking outward and turned to see at what. She nearly dropped her drink.

"Is that-?"

"Yes, it is." Ted said, calmly.

"Should we go and talk to them?"

Ted sat quiet for a moment. "No." he said, causing Robin to look at him. "No, I think not."

Barney and Lily then walked towards baggage claim and disappeared into the crowds.

"Why not?"

Ted smiled. "Because that's life."

_**Flight 432 to Denver will now begin boarding.**_

"Well, that's us. Can you grabbed my briefcase?"

Ted and Robin rounded up their bags and proceeded to the boarding desk.

Barney and Lily Stinson returned to the terminal moments later.

"I think I left it around here- there it is!" Lily exclaimed, picking up a green purse-like bag near where they were standing.

"Good thing we found it, it had the only keys to the new apartment in it." Barney pointed out. He looked towards the crowd of people boarding the flight to Denver. Two particular people caught his eye.

He nudged his wife. "Lily, look at those two."

Lily looked towards the crowd. "You'll have to be more specific."

"The woman in the white sports jacket and the man in the brown blazer."

Lily's jaw half dropped. "Is that Ted and Robin?"

"Yes, it is."

"They watched as the pair inched closer to the boarding desk."

"Should we go say hi? It's been 4 years."

"Exactly." Barney said, saddely. "4 years. It's safe to say, we've all moved on."

The reality of that sank into Lily. She knew things wouldn't be the way they used to be. They were all different people. It was still a thought she struggled with.

"Come on." Barney said, taking her hand. "We don't want to lose our baggage."

Lily took one last gaze at Ted and Robin, watching the two disappear into the tunnel leading to their plane. She turned to her husband and they set off once again into the packed crowds of the airport, the last cord connecting them to their old life now cut.

_**The End**_


End file.
